adeline khoo *

2005-11-03T21:47:00.000+08:00

meet shyam's char siew pao . its verh fat and lovable ! :)

2005-10-19T17:21:00.000+08:00

changed my blog. ask for new address. (:

2005-10-19T10:30:00.000+08:00

most of us juniors get to go penang ! isn't it exciting or what ? it'll be pretty cool seeing the seniors row and do standing charge. went for kallang training yesterday and found it tough to kinda keep up with the pace but with the encouragement of friends i'd be like them in no time. we started off with 2 rounds in the park ( quick burstings ). linda gave us a target of 9 mins to complete it and we've proven that we can do better by coming back 6 minutes flat ! followed by twistings and rowing. our usual routine of warmup of 1000ms followed by several sets of another 1000ms with tyre. hohoho, the juniors boat did pretty well by pulling away from the seniors but we realised its after the first 10 strokes only we could catch up with them. our strength is our long pulls whilst seniors fast twistings. what we lack of is aggression and power but if perfected, we'll be as good as our seniors. hehs, after training the girls went to little india for dinner while joanne and myself headed for school to visit the guys. roarh, now that trainings up i'm worried about two sessions i'll miss when i go bangkok. ben said he'll help me practice but how to row when he's working ? mah stroke sarks, so what if i can run ? it can't help me row. for another, the spot we use to kick when rowing is pretty far away from me, so when i stretch mah legs. i slip and fall on numerous occassions when rowing. so much for being a pacer. usually, the drag the team down, making me feel shitty and all. that's why sorta wanna let go at times. =\

2005-10-18T08:35:00.000+08:00

last night was sweet , the things we did and had together . i thank the stars and heaven for you guys . tho it was simple but picturesque of what love is . the extend we went thru just to make it a unforgetable night for Mr. Sim :) dinning at delifrance was great, tho i spilled weifeng's soup and kinda got chevy's gift smelling like it . i'm glad that he didn't blame me for ruining his precious precious birthday . after which we took our stroll down boat quay before hitting the pubs for a drink. xiu came down later to join us . end

2005-10-16T08:34:00.000+08:00

mom created her first blog ever. so she claims its for our family for updates on the interestings and the happenings lol. what an idea !? then again that's mommah for you

2005-10-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

mah gorgeous and me went running today from choa chu kang to yew tee mrt more of a little detour around the roads and industrial estates though i wasn't familiar with the route and prefer running alone somehow, it was special having run with gorgeous it made me uncover more insides of myself ; i loathe losing to anyone even him, one day i'd run side by side or in front of him thank you for the lovely ear stud, it made my day ! :) loves.

* will be skipping training due to church and family commitments. though regatta is up but i've been neglecting God for too long a period. that means i'd do self-training to keep up.

2005-10-12T18:53:00.000+08:00

couple of scribbles

time's ticking quicker by the minute, making it easier for us to " tahan " hosptial attachment ! everyday when it hits 10am, i'll be off for my break then back later for duty. not that i dislike nursing but its the environment which dampens our spirit. most of the patients in C wards come from depressing backgrounds, while others are simply annoying, making their every penny worth, treating us like personal slaves.

for instance, bed 21's uncle oh who is able to aid himself independently but little things like getting his glass from the bedside is a chore for him. every morning when i sign in for duty, i see him bottomless with his groin regions exposed. sick sick sick ! of course there are many others like him but he's the worst ever ! 2 more days of attachment to go before i break.

dragonboat on the other, gives me the creeps. ever since training camp i've been tramatized by the outcomes and expectations from us. tho they say we can break our limits but at times, i think i've reached it.

bangkok where are you ?

2005-10-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

being a drummer was an experience. tho i didn't row, but having to go down for mah first race was breath-taking. an amusing one too.

2005-10-06T22:15:00.000+08:00

don't ask me what's the matter i'm exhausted yes i look as if i'm gonna give up but don't get me wrong adeline's just busy being a missy, juggling db trainings the scene ain't pretty but she's get by with a leap of faith and bountiful prayers tears, joys and little pep talks she's get by, she's get by ...
thank yous :
shyam > for pep talks
sing > the heart talks
vick > being there tho we're so apart

2005-10-05T21:26:00.000+08:00

happy birthday, justin khoo . will be praying for your 'n' levels loads of love, little bro .

2005-10-05T05:46:00.000+08:00

i'd never be good enough for anything.

2005-10-02T20:56:00.000+08:00

this time round, i went church for worship. the feeling was awesome having to walk down the alter and just sit comfortably. waiting, merely waiting taking a breather to appreciate all that's around me. beautiful decor, company of friends and loud worship.

" in this secret, in this quiet place. in the darkness you are there. in this secret in this quiet hour i'll wait, only for you because i want to know you more. "

too long a time, since our last met up and i'm glad i got time today to just say "hello" to mah Saviour. which reminds me of shyam and his cheesy lines " tell God i said hi " and claiming he wanna dress like Jesus on halloween.

dad and mom were sweet enough to send me to SDBA where the others gathered. somehow the skies turned grey and the sea grew choppy. a huge gust of wind blew and overturned the dustin causing the metal lid to hit shawn. hahas, what a brillant day to kick start our sunday morning.

shyam and myself were still at the halloween idea and claimed the lousy weather was due to God telling us to go church and save training for later. we saw other teams rowing against the waves and boy did they look pathetic. they didn't budge one bit as they were rowing ! lol. shyam's gonna be the dummer boy and i gave him an idea of dressing up like Jesus on Sava sprints instead of running hysterically up and down Orchad Road with a bible. it would be rad to see him hit the headlines " Jesus spotted at Bedok Reservoir ? " which brings me back to a verse from Revelations stating when the end is near, there would be many prophets claiming to be our Heavenly King . blah blah blah ! lol, perhaps that prophacy would come alive once shyam purchases that US$20 Jesus costume off ebay.

we did our 500m warm ups before ah huat grouped us into the various boats. despite being chosen for sava sprints, i've a gut feeling my coach won't put me down for the race. frankly, i can't row for nuts and secondly i ain't ready. you see i don't twist enough and as hard as i try. a leapord can never change its spots overnight. seeing others being called to load the boat while me being asked to rest, does makes me feel segregated from the team. deep down, i yearn to row in regatta and be part of the main team. perhaps that time will come but just not now. the truth bites but i'd live with it. that explains the down face today. big ben's right, we've got a long way to go. much need to buck up doubly hard. so what if i can run or do gym, ultimately if you can't row - you can't perform.

ben tried correcting my strokes and i appreciate it. sorry baby, for disappointing you. being unable to get mah fundamentals right. but believe me, i'm trying very hard. i wanna row in mix ivp one day, together with you. seeing you row in races makes me proud of you and wanna tell the world " hey that's mah ben there ! " i'd be cheering you on for sava and regatta !

2005-10-01T09:53:00.000+08:00

we rise, we fall but through it all.
this precious bond we've found shall never be broken.
NPDB GIRLS 2005

2005-09-29T22:58:00.000+08:00

i can't wait to go bangkok, away from it all.

2005-09-28T06:20:00.000+08:00

life's running on a fast track, leaving me breathless.

NPDB Training Camp 2005 was harsh, esp the last day when the girl's team had punishment. Most of us gave way and cried as we watch our team mates lag back, faint and even hyperventilate. We teared even more when debriefing, hearding what the team had to say about camp and them opening up on their views made camp worthwhile. It answered my question as to why i consistancy push myself to limits, exhaust myself till i'm blue. Its because them who believed in me.

hm. as for attachments, still the same routine. parameters, shower patients, tend to their needs and merely conversing with them. can't wait for it all to be over.

2005-09-23T21:53:00.000+08:00

too tired

no idea how i'd train and do attachments for this month. its draining mah life's essence away. okay, so things haven't been hyped ! however, the pressure from nursing and db has started to kick it. i wake up in fear every morning, not knowing what to expect from both parties. thank heavens, its friday then tmr is sat which means db training camp is to come till sunday. followed by monday and a whole cycle of attachment plus nursing.

i wonder how's xiu and the others doing. for ward 47, its routine based and blahblahblah. bottom line ; boring ! kenneth had high fever a few days ago. got mah whole family freaked out because doctor suspected it was dengue. he went for blood test and doc says blood platets are on a low side from a 174 which later dropped to 140. ain't a pretty sign, it could result in internal bleeding. what bites is i won't be around to watch for him when i'm at camp. hopefully the results of his next blood test will go well. ben came over for dinner, and we had stupid fun. it kept me happy for a while.

congrats cheryl, chevy, weesiang on your results. what about you, weifeng ? vick where are you ?

2005-09-22T06:18:00.000+08:00

Re-capture happy moments If your obstacles bring you down, then let your determination bring you up

2005-09-21T22:27:00.000+08:00

http://www.sava.com.sg/sports/SAVASprints/Index.html

Team mates > it would be a good read-up to see what categories there are. For members, take this opportunity to exposure yourself before regattae ; participating / non-participating. Observe other teams on rowing style / stroke and our team too. See and implement ways to improve our trainings. 6 more sea rowings before this race, though its not what we are aiming for but we'll take no chances on going easy. With sheer hard work, we'll carve a name for Ngee Ann Dragonboat Girls Team ! Let us create a legacy, just like the men in our team !

Friends > Much prayers needed during this crucial period. Mah team mates have been working till our muscles ache. Both physically and mentally drained. Prayer requests needed !
. Safety of members
. Health - aches / sprains / flu
. Able to cope under pressure
. Good teamwork
. Motivation

wednesday's see rowing was fabulous. though the boat couldn't 'qi' but everyone was working till when we took a breather. i could hear each and everyone of us, ladies grasping for our dear life. juniors, keep up with seniors. more emphasize on communication ! very proud of us, in no time we'll be on par as our seniors. seniors, thank you for your guidance and emotional support ! much to be learnt from you all and we'll defnitely not let you down.

p/s : thank yous
viven > for constantly reminding me to twist. pouring water on mah back !
ashley > encouarging me to drive fast and hard when i was about to give way
qijia > for yelling mah name and giving me pointers
cheryl > hugging me when i cried. was totally worn out today
gareth > the motivation you'd given the girls' team and striving so hard for us
seniors > FOR PUSHING US, REMINDING US . BELIEVING IN US ! good training
juniors > the laughs / complains that kept us going ! DRASTIC IMPROVEMENT. i can feel it in mah bones when we run, row, gym . reflect on how we first started off ? the struggles we went through just to keep up with our seniors. we are just this bit to being on par and gaining more exposure. no one is gonna break the bond we've created. NO ONE you hear me? lol. dang, we are all hyped up in aiming for THAT seat in the boat. (:

2005-09-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

we started off from this
then adds up to elaine, yiwen and tian yi. 4 months of training and we've reached a junction. no longer are we labelled freshies but juniors. in time to come, we'll be seniors to our next year's intake and excute commands our seniors implemented on us. how cool is that? can't help but to pen down all on dragonboat but i feel motivated with mah team mate. for us, 2005 intake. WE are giving in our utmost best, and i know you and myself are. from the efforts shown, i believe we'll excel step by step and eventually our standards will be on par or even greater than what our seniors have achieved so far. we've seen the june races - good and ugly bit of it. no more losing ! should we fall accept and learn gracefully,THEN make a come back. its all mental, pain can be overcomed. (:

to most who are unable to comprehend "mental speaks". I, myself wasn't able to understand it until today. got it sprained during 1st campus run but i kept on running. the pain didn't stuck me that bad, because deep down i was thinking about what ashley said the other day. if i were to suddenly stop, i would be giving up while mah team mates were pushing so hard. if during training we can let down our team mates, what more in a race ? so i gave it my all, and lasted 2nd campus run till end of circuits and gave my every last ounce of strength i had. i suppose its the objective you have for yourself and the team. ambitions you want to fufil united as one that made me wanna spend all the time i have during trainings. sometimes we may not realise it but our seniors do dote on us. like times when punishment was lighten or even vitamin Cs given out before training. just that they get all stern when we train. its for a purpose, for us to focus focus focus !

time after time, we seem to have caused them so much anger and disappointment. it bites knowing the seniors feel we are not giving in our 101% percent. i believe we, juniors are. it can be seen through how much passion we have for the team sport with the occassional trips to school for self-training. i take my hats off to each individual who did that. (:

2005-09-19T20:45:00.000+08:00

A long tour, to add up a mundane one ! CGH's one of the youngest hospitals around but yet in comparison to NUH its advanced in verse of technology. However what shook me most was upon touring the site, we actually got to see a dead person being wheeled into the mortuary. Spooky right ? Picture your first day being uptight and awkward then you enter this dim corridor and feel the cold wind brush against your face while the mortuary door swinged open ? Gave most of us the jitters and oh yah the canteen food there sark ! gibme mah canteen 2 lemon chicken rice, please ? samuel was a funny arse, roarh ! He came down CGH on sunday thinking we've got attachment. lol, probably too lost in his world. amused us with his tale, poor lad. Sing, Cass and myself got posted to a surgical ward. Friendly staffs and environment, but what pleased me most was when I bumped into chappy chua. He's into nursing, finally made it into simei's ite one. Happy that he got intot he course of his choice ! After attachment, smsed clement. Sounds like he's having a whale of a time with his attachment. Rushed to meet weifeng, chevy, cheryl for jamming. Sing tagged along too. Still can't believe how interlinked sing's friends and mine are.
Cheryl and Sing are godsisters
Chery and Chevy are classmates/item
Cheryl and Wf are kindergarten mates
Sing and myself are classmates
Chevy and Wf are mah sec classmates.
= Small world !

Anyway, was browsing through some of mah team mates blogs and its sad to see them demoralized / down over the sava issue and performance during training. I share their sorrow too, if only there's a way to cope this emotion. For men's, its unfair that those who didn't turn up are involved in sava. As for the laughing at each other during chasing of boat, when they took long to catch up. Think about it, we are Ngee Ann Dragonboaters ; family. Is this what family do towards each other? As for getting into sava or not, yes it bites knowing not being selected but we should be happy for our fellow team mates that they were selected. Its not about we being not good / good but there's just not enough seats on the team to participate. When racing we are not going down as an individual but for our team - Ngee Ann Dragonboat Team. So what if we can't get a seat this time round? We are and will still train together as a big family to bring glory for our team. ONE FOR DRAGONBOAT !

2005-09-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

sea-rowing at our old void at last, kallang ! three weeks whiz by just like that *snaps* and we're back for trainings. rock on, baybeh ! the feeling of meeting and seeing mah team mates makes me go wheeee ! all buncha fun-loving, wild and crazy mates. on friday we met up for chomping, ate like crazy. sat we had our tiring rowing and most of us got burnt really really bad but it was good training, at least that's what i think. i know mah mates were trying to put in their utmost best but ashley wasn't please with our performance. its disheartening tho but we took things in our stride. then went to suntec for chow time. sunday's training were for sava sprint people (men) while women all came down. could tell, it was a lazy morning and most of us were pretty worn out from yesterday's session. i was in shuling's boat together with loud mouthed ben. felt the glide and was pretty contented. i gave mah every power i had. 7 8 9 10 ! but need to twist more, it hurts when people say i isolate mahself when rowing but i can't change immediately, but still working on it. gareth was encouraging so was shurong. most of the juniors were down because they weren't in sava but hopefully this edgy feeling won't last long. its sad to see everyone depressed today. we all got another shelling session again and could tell it affected us bad.

2005-09-17T08:20:00.000+08:00

:) no more, no more, no more papers ! met up with mah beloved amigos plus other loves too. its the first time after a long since we last had a game of badminton. bringing back bittersweet memories when we first started fostering closer bonds. flashbacks of ' only heaven knows, for the first time, yeah and gawd knows how many songs ' oh yeah ! babe xiu was exhausted after PAS she went home leaving sing and me to meet up with da o' mates. weesiang, cheryl were agile with the rackets. more of such to come, hopefully ? now that attachment is at simei, i'd have ample time to jam or go crazy with easties !

ben babe came over tamp after his papers taking the uber long ride from school. lol, poor him had to tahan the mosquitos and spiders which freaked the shit outta him. chevy , weifeng and siang got to meet him but not much words exchanged. probably were mesmerized with his pectorals ?! we strolled around before heading down chompchomp where most of our team mates were. pretty happening on a friday night, everyone's talking about crashing clubs and dancing to the beats. not to mention the numerous gossips ! food was da bomb ! it was kinda like a wedding dinner together in celebration of our newly weds jiansen and ziling.

2005-09-14T18:35:00.000+08:00

just thought of you, fellas !

Here's a quickie. 3 papers down, 1 more to go. HYPED for hospital attachment, if all goes smoothly i'd be able to go for clinical attachment on 19 sept - 16 oct. (provided no modules flunked) phew, my postings at Changi Hospital will be mainly on morning shifts 7am - 3pm. So i can go party after that, take me out to play baybeh !

Friday's Chomp Chomp outing still on, for more details, message jiansen. Saturday's kallang training on for the ladies 11am - 2pm. There'll be a list to inform those involved in sava sprints. Good luck, people ! (:

2005-09-11T19:14:00.000+08:00

for all you've done meet ziling, she makes me high !

Probably pre-exam blues and a mixtures of mambo jumbo caused the drastic moodswings. Nostalgic feeling kicking in ! No words can describe the latter but when it happens i sorta get muscle spasms and my head whirls. Fortunately, things have taken a better turn after meeting up with Weifeng and Chevy on saturday. We played pool and yakked about the latest updates in our lives. More of a heart-pouring session about everything under the sun and after it all, i felt better being able to open up after so long. They are probably the only people who understands me asides vick. Oh yes, Vick met up with me today after my service. Though we didn't do anything thrilling and exchanged few words, I had the best time of my life. (:

2005-09-08T16:30:00.000+08:00

08 sep

I'm losing it ! On the verge of losing my sanity. Anatomy, Microbiology are the two killer modules and though the numerous recital and reading of the subject. NOTHING, absolutely nothing seems to be going in. I wonder how Aaron, Clement and the few smarty pants in my cohort tahan it.

Is nursing actually what I really wanted? Its weird, because though I can't get into early childhood, I actually went on with the decision to nursing when I could have transferred to Marine Offshore Tech. Then again, mathematics and science ain't my forte. Humanities' my cuppa tea, but what offers that? Urgh!

Vick, Weifeng, Chevy. I NEED YA NOW and pronto ! I have pleasant mates in ngee ann but they are very different from our secondary school environment. St Hildas is a more condusive place to grow and learn spiritually. Hardly have Christian friends here and sometimes I feel very alone. It seems like they have different beliefs and values. Most of my comrades here come from very, extremely different backgrounds unlike the one which I'm brought up in. All the clubbing, pubbing, late nights which I loathe but yet now I seem to be coming back home each day. Keep cooping myself in school, its like mah 2nd home now. No time for church and I miss God and my christian mates now.

Talking about God. He's been pretty out of my life. Yes, God will never desert us even if we forsake him but he seems shut outta my life now. A dreadful feeling though. :(

2005-09-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

mugga-roo

literally dragged myself to school this morning, and apparently i got off on the wrong side of the bed. things got nasty when i couldn't find my favourite sports bra, shorts, top and my wallet was nowhere to be found. thank heavens, mah pink wallet was in mom's car ! as for shorts, i bought a new one from sports complex. rushed down to meet clement and yen at block 81. clement was giving yen her crash lecture for mic retest before she headed for her paper at 10am. whoarh, last minute cramping but she manages to remember somehow. its vexing to kick start a tiring tuesday morning but glad they were there to pressure me. bumped into sing at atrium before meeting them. (: after yen left for papers. we saw xiu rushing down for her retest, hiaks ! then we mugged mugged mugged mugged mugged till 5pm. of course, we had little breaks in between. it got pretty noisy at certain junctions but it was cool. I was contented with my progress.

After which, self-trained with mah precious babes. Dee and Jess started campus run without us. Leaving tianyi, cheryl, joanne, gladys to do reverse campus while huaihui and myself campus run. Did endurance at gym and it was effective training. Kinda worried when we handle equipments, with heavy weights we have the tendency to swing our back tonnes and when supporting the back, to prevent swinging. personally, i don't think its effective before it seems more of a hinderance rather than help as you're already struggling with the weights then it adds up the pressure. blah. Jiansen was such a dear, buying chocky for us. Tonnes of love, babe ! No wonder Ziling adores you. heh heh heh! The girls left to study and other to makan at adam road. Ben and myself had dinner at al-leen before I went home.

ps : happy 3rd month anniversary, waileong! :D

2005-09-05T19:59:00.000+08:00

1 week study break's here to stay, leaving ngee ann students in a frenzy. all frantic and uptight with the examination preparation. here's the updates so far.

thursday
NSL practical gave me the jitters. yes, we had to wear our nursing uniform and surprise surprise mine still fits like a glove. when we got to block 81, my mates and i bumped into jj. apparently the poor chap got assessed by Micheal, our most eligible bachelor in HS society. habba habba! okay, back to details. jj flunked it, apparently he gave Andy the patient nasal prong with humidifer causing the poor guy to nearly die! which got me uptight when i found out he was assessing me. the procedures went well, mah patient was hazel. pleasant babe she is, kinda helped me a little and handling someone who you know does help, it made me a little more confident. had to take her bp and give her nasal prong. blahb lah blah. sing flunk hers too, but its not her fault. probably the jitters, but Ms sabrina assured her overall she passed because her theory well done. (: friday had my AAP retest. i slept and slept in the library while preparing for the paper. after microbio lecture, we had to sit for the dang paper. frigging sick i tell you. before we took the paper. Dr Ronnie told us first section of the MCQs were all done for us, so 10 marks were given to us just like that. leaving us to score for the following 40 marks. hopefully, i'd pass the darn paper. was able to label muscle man and the respiratory system but functions. hohohoho, killed me. -pray pray pray- then rushed back home to drop mah books and meet the girls at atrium for our sleepover. went to Anchorpoint with the dears to get the tibits before heading down school for our movie, White Chick. Then the the dragonboaters all headed Al-leen for supper. We, girls screamed our way through. Gera and Huaihui went uber high. I kept pulling HHH's bra strap and smacking their butts. she fwapped mah chest! ROARH! to the ktv lounge we went for interaction, games after games followed by a series of ghost stories. i couldn't take late night fun, so went to bed. Ben accompanied me or at least snored beside me. LOL!

saturday
yellow ribbon. hur hur hur, i bumped into mah favourite teacher, Mr Chiang and the fellow councillors. ayes love them loads. the whole event took forever to start and almost never when ending. ziling and myself were singing our way through. gosh, talking about ziling. she's simply adorable! hahas, ayes she lift me to mountains. all sweaty and bleah after everything so rushed back home for a bath. Ben popped by too and followed me to church for under the stars thing. neat though, they had a wide spread of food, extremely talented band performance by our very own church members and dim lighting setting under the vast beautiful sky. caught up with mengkit, eugene and luke too. grace was with her friends but it was good seeing her and godma after so long. (:

sunday
met Ben at school gym to do our workout, he overslept though. effective training, at least i got aid when it came to biceps. after showering we saw henry at campus, appaerntly he came back to study. hahas. then Ben and myself had lunch at geylang and visited a nearby pet shop, saw the cutest dog ever. :D

2005-08-30T20:05:00.000+08:00

a few updates, sunday i skipped church because of realrun @ sentosa. had to reach habourfront at 7am. boy! was it crowded, packed with people. joanne, ashely, linda, jessica, qihui, joyce, shuling and myself took part in women's junior event ; 5.5km. the terrians were tough especially running on sand. it drained us out. i managed to finish mah run by 23 mins odd.

stress from everything, examinations are around the corner. i self-trained with the girls yesterday. it made me happy just a little, but drained me out completely. ben saw me home and tucked me in bed before he left. as for today, stayed in AAP lab and finally got the opportunity to mug a little. ROARH. i'm scared stiff. no one understands or can assure me.

2005-08-28T00:27:00.000+08:00

kallang trainings makes me happy.

mom's finally coming home from her women's ministry retreat. i know justin and kenneth, including daddy miss her uber much. just that we hardly express it. daddy brought us to geylang to have lunch. before dropping me off at SDBA, which was darn early because training didn't start till 245 and i was there at 140. lol, gave me ample time to watch our boys do pull ups. was really funny though. (:

short distance but quick strides. running was led by ashley and seeing everyone's improving on their stamina makes it all worthwhile. bit by bit progression, in no time we'll be in shape for november's race. whoar, but sea rowing's gonna be a tough one for us juniors. experiencing the row with seniors was awesome. you could feel actually feel the glide. going swoosh swoosh swoosh! gliding through the kallang basin. we, juniors had a rough time keeping up with the pace. fast i tell you, extremely fast. can't wait for exams to be over, then we'll having training camp. followed by our intensive training on tues, thurs, sat and sun.

odel fell into the sea upon loading the boat. thank God, she's perfectly okay. no barnicle cuts nor brusies. after which we went ps for dinner. bumped into hildans, sec 5s ; aaron and his classmates. good to see familiar faces though, makes me miss Mr. Chiang and my council buds so much. roarh.

2005-08-27T00:16:00.001+08:00

anoymous(s)

if its your hobby going about critising people. by all means, i don't give two hoots about your critics. it reflects poorly of yourself as well. your words ain't gonna bring me down and if mah attitude needs a little switching, you need a reality check as well. i apologise if i've offended you in any way but using names/nicks of my friends to put me off is unbearable. here's a thought, anoymous and company: leave mah tagboard and friends' alone. this is mah space, so move along and cut me some slack.

bing> Don't be dampened, God will see you through. Lift you to moutains, kill your anxieties and make you whole. In His time, you'll see. roarhs. (:

2005-08-27T00:16:00.000+08:00

anoymous(s)

bing> Don't be dampened, God will see you through. Lift you to moutains, kill your anxieties and make you whole. In His time, you'll see. roarhs. (:

2005-08-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

everything you are.

fon presentation settled. 1 project off my mind. ms siti said we were well-organised and creative in displaying our slides. which made boosted my morale a little. think about it, for the fact that most of it were rushed. we did okay. was goofed earlier on with last minute rehearsal of proj and lack of sleep. anxiety's kicking in. dr ron said retest for aap will be next fri. before that i've got 2 practicals test next week too. both thursdays and different subj. roarh, stress stress stress. so skipped db training. i'm always lagging behind, needa go for sat's one. queer missing out on all the fun when my mates are training hard. sava sprints coming up in oct. i wanna row in ivp boat together with ben. or at least that our little dream.

above that, i want to be a nurse. not just any nurse but a motivated one. well, i concluded that if neglecting my studies will get me outta school. i rather mug smart, get through and still be able to be part of dragonboat. mom was nice, picking me up from school. bought me mac's too. sinful food. hahas.

okay, here's a crazy thought but i needa cut down on food. been eating loads and i mean TONNES of stuffs due to stress. old habits die hard. so detox for adeline. 2 days, i'd tahan. fruits and water will be mah best friend now. (:

2005-08-25T00:06:00.000+08:00

though i'm hopeful, yes i am hopeful for today take this music and use it. let it take you and be hopeful, hopeful and he'll make a way i know it ain't easy but that's okay cos we're hopeful

run throughs of last minute slides. dateline due for fon is tomorrow. all hail dr ronnie for early release of class thus enabling us to complete our project in a jiffy. our previous attempt of rounding up members to settle down and collaborate content was a flop, at least this time round we got this moving. this event got me down and frustrated.

boohoo 1 - didn't save updated powerpoint in lappy
boohoo 2 - thumbdrive with updated copy at home
boohoo 3 - limited time to rush and get it
boohoo 4 - not everybody is able to stay back to complete proj
boohoo 5 - datedue is tomorrow

hiaks. problem solved when justin came to mah rescue. he rushed home from the market to send the documents to me from home. i HEART mah blood brother. it amazes me how the big guy above aids me when in dire need of help. clement made my day too. He gave me a yellow cap. Now i can be a banana like stinky lemon. he makes me go yay!

you lift me to mountains. yay! i will never be the same again, i cannot return. i've closed the door. i will walk the path, i will run the race and, will never be the same again.

vick > if you're reading this entry. how's work. update me a little more on your blog. i've got 892827262536387 questions to ask bout your week. how's wanling? how's the girls at factory? still a ladies' man i see? hiaks. i'm rushing thru everything and at every junction. nothing runs smoothly, at times i still go thru a little identity crisis. loose self-esteem and am bursting sideways. if you ever have the time. drop me a line, preferably sms. (:

2005-08-22T23:31:00.000+08:00

sharmababy, you made me realise how shallow i've been worrying what people perceive of me. you're right. why bother about them and let emotions of inferiorty overwhelm me, get me down make my skies turn grey? lol. thank you, little girl. you made me go whee!

to the bozoos hiding behind the masks, no longer will i fret what you label me to be. i'd roam ngee ann poly proudly with my head up and chin high. i don't care what you think of me in fbt shorts or my comfy less trendy wear to school. you groupies, make me sick. laughing and squealing like meer piglets over absolutely nothing. finger pointing, bitching and making lessons to hard to bear, thinking you're funny and lovable to hang out with. ever since week 1 of school, i lived in fear but today forth, you no longer make me tremble. roarh.

2005-08-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

NSL focused on revision. lesson was chirper than usual and everyone beamed with glee. from bandaging, last office, blood pressure taking to using of mask. sing, xiu got me wrapped up for last office. its a procedure when comes to wrapping up the corpse. freaking, i know but someone has to do it. gwen went hysterical singing together with sing while looking for dr thomas sim. the musical kinda opera version though. hahas! they rawked my world.

made plans to join jess and isabel in town. got xiu, sing, sam, kev involved too. felt pretty awful about the whole xiu thing. girl, if you're reading this i apologise for everything. on top of that a big sorry to everyone for not being entertaining enough. fortunately we had photographs taken with awesome classmates and my beloved db girls. our own subtle fun.

jess makes beautiful ear-rings. gawd, i want to have one of those funkay jing-a-lings, like hers. both my girls were looking ravishing hot as usual. (:

2005-08-17T21:09:00.000+08:00

tired .

tuesday was pretty happening. xiu crashed it db session! next target will be sing, got to psycho her in as well. ben sprained his leg. one of the girls gagged after 800m sprint. fortunately, gareth was around. medic ah medic! something i've yet to learn 1st Aid. will touch base on that uber soon.

sharmababy was at blk 50 this morning. made me happy to see a familiar face after so long. crappy crap bullshitted bull! LOL. skipped fon lecture to visit rehab daycare @ eunos. showed 'em the place and interacted with husain johari to have a better understanding on his case study. kevin joined us later just to see xiu. welcomed gwen, hb, sing, xiu, sam, kevin to my house to touch up on PAS project. sing stayed behind to start CNP project with me. phew..

lunch with secondary school mates on saturday and backing up chongwei for sunday's service. so will be forgoing kallang' session. bummer. =\

2005-08-14T08:24:00.000+08:00

Why focus on negativity? Don't we ever get praised when we do right? Given this, heading for training gives me goosepimples, not knowing what punishments we'll get during our session. I believe the juniors are serious during training and each individual gives their utmost best while training. Its during the session itself we learn to bond, friendly high 5s and smiles keeps us moving and i'm sure most would agree its the best way to foster stronger friendship ties.

Yesterday's Kallang session seems more interesting when the juniors had to chase after the seniors' boat. Seniors were given 30 sec, followed by 1 min, 1 min 30 secs head start however they've got the tyre while we don't. We overtook them twice, but when they went without the tyre we lost to them. The expereince itself was good, especially when we had to drive fast. I felt the boats' momentum, beautiful feeling tho! Ah huat and bao says my movement's too stiff. will work on that bit! (:

Mom's had her birthday session. The Ngs and Yeos came over and we had a blast! Shuqi got into St Anthony's Primary. Everyone's excited for her as she embarks into primary education. Shuyi went crazy, jumping and going baslistic. LOL. I love my darling cousins. Yiling's still as sarcastic as ever tho. Qiangster came late because of church and everyone of 'em were hiding inside my parents room because ben was around. We caught Herbie! (:

2005-08-12T07:35:00.000+08:00

1098716253547578 things to accomplish!
- projects
- examinations
- trainings
- attachments [once more]

Half my mind whirls back to the future. Least motivated student of the year goes to me, I find it hard to keep myself awake during lectures. Been skipping a lecture or two but going through it is worst than a chore. Literally living hell, comprehending anatomy and microbio is no different from studying a foreign language. The only words i hear are ~!@#$%^&*, end of lesson students! Was nursing actually God wanted me to take up? I want to be out there! IN ACTION. aiding the sick and wounded but getting the fundamentals' a feat!! If only i've got half the brains of mingkai, will power of weifeng, wisdom of chevy and optimisim of vick. Poly would be a breeze?!

Focus, is the essential key to all successes. It'd be my aim for now. Which means forgoing trainings. I want mom and dad to be proud of their daughter, me. No more disoriented adeline, with their support and God's love. Hopefully this period will be tide through. Lift me to mountains, Father! =D

Thankful for a fabulous workout day with sing xiu sam. Kevin too! for the motivation when running, support during gym. Got to know xiu better and am encouraged to have her around.

2005-08-07T10:37:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning, Ben called ..
Ben> hey, i left something at ya place's backway. could you check it out?
me> uh. . okay.

when i got out of my huse, he BOOOO-ED me from behind. surprise surprise? shocked the living daylights outta me. erms and my parents too who saw him. phew, hopefully there'll be no part II of that. my poor heart can't take it. less than 5 minutes later, he left with his friend who drove him over just to say 'hi'. -ROLL EYES- :X

kelvin's having a rocko competition today @ tampines. so excited fer him. still contemplating if i should go for FOP. family might go out and its been ages since i last stayed still to have family time. bummer!

wanted to catch up with vick but its ever so busy with his new found friends. yays, he's happy but i badly want to hang out with him. ever since he's been working, our timing always clash. he never calls anymore. i loathe the feeling that i've been chucked at corner and been clean forgotten. all i wanted was to be part of that life of his like last time, doing stupid stuffs together. its like i don't know him anymore. does 4 years odd of friendship ever meant anything to him?

2005-08-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

we, juniors are improving progressively. my back aches but i don't care. i'd improve bit by bit with the help of my team mates. WHEE!

Ben and myself couldn't catch 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'. Front row seats wasn't exactly ideal when we weren't dressed comfortably. Looks like I'd catch it with my friends instead. So we headed for subway because Ben wanted so and had our foot long sandwiches. WHOAR! huge, mega bites. We made a dash to catch the fireworks and bumped into jo, jer, shu and vi. Splendid view, though the trees were kinda in the way but we stared in awe at the beauty of it. After which, we departed and crashed chocolate bar at the esplanade. CHOCOLATE FONDUE was what we had, but i enjoyed our conversations. No hustle and bustle away from the fast life. Happy Happy Happy! (:

2005-08-06T10:27:00.000+08:00

Definitely not in best of shape.

Been browsing through blogs of others. Each individual speak of Fitness Test held on tuesday/thursday, more or less they've hit their personal target. While else, I've yet to meet mine. Let's not talk about NAPFA but the gym sessions. I could barely lift 5kg weights, but yet my arms seem to get that 'bloat/swelling' sensation after each training. Seeing how the other girls are able to cope, puts me to shame and at times I can't help but feel inferior to all of them. Yes, everyone excels differently and we improve over time, but its taking forever. Every aspect of me is growing and I can't help but feel disgusted with my ugly body.

Yesterday was amusing. here's the skinny on the latter. typing makes me lazy!
- nursing skills, did urine test. HAD TO COLLECT OWN PEE.
- NDP observational day : verh enthu. scream and yelled
- FOP : reached late. no stadium full. went to bridge to scream! :(
- GEYLANG: 6 durians fer us! spented 1 hr walking aimlessly around kallang before hopping on a joyride to gawd knows where. WE RWAK! SING, XIU, SAM AND ME!

2005-08-05T00:14:00.000+08:00

Ever questioned your ability? Doubt your capability? Or pondered if sometimes your personality is way too tacky for people to comprehend you? I know, I have. Battered and torn, tell me how to face tomorrow? I'm scared. God, I need you here so badly. Society scares me and facing them is horrifying enough. Freaky people bite!

2005-08-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

3 group projects to be completed. its utter madness, how do they expect us to finish up everything within such a short duration of time and to add on to our pressure. common tests are here again, 5 more weeks to end of semester papers. wicked, i tell you? its a conspirancy. brutal murder and if this keeps up, in no time i'd be at the brink of losing my sanity.

trala la la lala. bittersweet memories, keep thinking 'em thru. at least events that occurred this year. amazing, how God places beautiful characters into my life. spice and perk it up, this o' mundane tale i lead! (:

2005-07-30T21:48:00.000+08:00

*POOF*

" new friends found, old ones still kept at bay? "
Neglected, knowing that mates once uber close are drifting apart and people say friendship's like a bra. One with good support, seeing you through dready days. No doubt my beloved amigos hold a place in my heart but with schedules holding us away. No more frequent crazy meet ups like before. Goodbye badminton sessions, gym, jamming, walking aimlessly around ...
Being in a different studying environment, tears me up. Placing me in scenarios when I have to chose friends to delicate my time to. I want all but can't have them.

2005-07-29T10:35:00.000+08:00

Advertisements that take you far. ( tickled my funny bone tho )
Now that friends are away, I've got the personal space needed to dig up a book and assignments to complete. Gwendolyn loaned me "True Believer" written by Nicholas Sparks.

It speaks of a science journalist with a regular column in Scientific American, Jeremy Marsh specializes in debunking in the supernatural and has a real nose for the strange and unusual. A born skeptic, he travels to the small town of Boone Creek, North Carolina, determinded to find the real cause behind the ghostly apparitions that appear in the town cemetery. What he doesn't plan on, however, is meeting and falling hopelessly in love with Lexie Darnell, granddaughter of the town psychic. Now, if the young lovers are to have any kind of future at all, Jeremy must make a difficult choice: return to the life he knows, or do something he could never do before - take a giant leap of faith.

2005-07-28T20:17:00.000+08:00

Came down with a temperature of 38.8 degrees. Dr Irwin gave me 2 days MC, thus I've got to make-up attachment on saturday. Clinical Instructor Aw made a HOO-HA over the matter, which dissed me off. DANG, there goes my saturday morning, hopefully I'd be well for kallang training. Didn't want to go home, so headed back to school and waited for Ben. It was a painful 4 hours as my head was spinning, and felt feverish all over. But I'm glad that I met him for dinner, won't be able to catch up with him soon. :(

2005-07-27T19:53:00.000+08:00

random thoughts

Seek the Blesser ; not the blessing ! Seek His face, not His hands ! Don't just get excited about what God has for be ; be excited about HIM.

There is something in us that makes us afraid of the commitment that comes with real intimacy with God. For one thing, intimacy with God requires purity. The days of fun and games in the Church are over. What do I mean by "fun and games"?

If your defination of fun is "low commitment and lots of thrills and chills," then all you've ever wanted to do is "date God." You've just been wanting to get in the backseat with Him. God is tired of us coming to get our thrills from Him without putting on the ring of commitment! Some people are more in love with the "goose bumps" than with His glory! They're addicted to the anointing, liking the feeling of being blessed, receiving the "gifts" like a religious "gold-digger," happy with the chocolates, flowers, and jewelry. The last time I checked, He was still looking for a bride, not a girlfriend ; one who will "stick" with Him. I'm afraid that many people in Church have simply approached God to get what they can from Him without committing anything in return. God is saying to His Church, "I don't want that. Let's pledge ourselves to each other."

We've often placed the cart before the horse. We seek revival without seeking Him. Leaders in the Church have written countless books on how to grow churches, but sometimes the underlying message there is "This is how to grow churches without a relationship with Him." Most Christians in North America are "hothouse Christians" who bloom as long as they are kept in a protected and carefully controlled environment far from fear, distress, or persecution. But time and again, we have seen that if you take hothouse Christians out of their protected environment and put them into the real world where the wind of adversity blows and the rain of sorrows falls ; if they have to endure the hot sun and the drought it brings, then they discover what they never developed a root system in the hothouse. So they wither and say, "I'm just not cut out for this!"

If it takes the perfection of environment to prove the presence of God in someone's life, then my guess is that the persecuted Christians just don't have God. How can they? They don't have Bible seminars; they don't have choirs or the latest worship music. They don't have air conditioning, ushers, nurseries, electronic paging systems, carpeted sanctuaries, or staff counselors. Their worship environment is terrible. If they get caught having a church, they must pay a terrible price. I read an account of a group of Chinese Christians who were caught holding a church service. The officials placed a horse trough in the middle of town and forced every man and woman in that congregation to urinate into it. Then they drowned the pastor in it, right in front of their eyes.

Do you know what happened? The church congregation doubled in two weeks, and it sure wasn't because of their nice sanctuary or dynamic worship team. These kinds of believers don't gauge their relationship with God by how things are going with their bank account, or by how much fun they've had during church activities. They have joined Paul by saying "My life doesn't matter. The most important thing is that I finish the race - the work which the Lord Jesus gave me to do, telling people the Good News about God's gracious love" (Acts 20 : 24 GCENT). This is the confession of people in love and in intimate communion with their Maker.

The games are over. God is calling you.

2005-07-26T21:41:00.000+08:00

Heavy downpour, if the weather keeps up we'll probably catch a cold soon. Stella was down with fever today, but yet insisted on continuing attachment till Sister Yeo told her to head home. Her mom was with her, seeing her daughter tear she too sobbed. Motherly love, it reminded me of how my mom took care of me through these 18 years. Boy, was I a tyran never giving her peace, causing her wrinkles and heartaches. Mom made me what I am today. With her as my pillar of strength, nothing will stand in my way. ( including dad )

Gwen and myself got posted to Room 5/6 while Sing was in 7. We got to see how the nurses treated the various wounds and it wasn't a pleasant sight. There were pus, deep cuts, not to mention the stench of rotting flesh. Couldn't stomach such grotesque images and the whiff of it sent me to the toliet. ( on the verge of purging ) That's how gross everything was.

The image of the wounds was in my mind, till I reached school. That's when I started getting feverish and lethargic. Either way, I disappointed myself during the session.

2005-07-25T22:40:00.000+08:00

Overslept and only reached Lakeside mrt at 7.40am when the designated time to meet was 7.15am. Thank God for understanding friends. If not for them, I would have proabaly wander aimlessly, searching for the polyclinic. Those who don't know, its last week of attachment for many student nurses in Ngee ann. Jurong East polyclinic was where I got posted to along with several classmates. Namely, Hongbei, Stella, Gwen, Sinsing, Jannah. Only after walking several stops down, we managed to hail for a cab. You should have seen how Gwen, Sing and myself ran after it, the sight was hilarious. Not everyday you see nurses chasing after a taxi.

First, we were briefed by the Clinical Instructor who orientated NITEC students as well. Like us, they too were first year students but they had 6 months of in school studying unlike our 2 months. Gwen and myself got posted to ward 34 which handled patients who has chronic illness. Most of them were diabetic, several consisted of hypertension and asthma. Our objective was soley focused on observational skills and touch base on what primary healthcare sector offers. We got a glimps of Senior staff nurses counselling clients' regarding their lifestyle and explaination of in depth details of their condition.

After all the hustle and bustle, I headed back to school to meet up with Shyam and company. We did self-training till 8ish. Joanne and gang went for dinner, while * sent me home.

* coming over my place. He finally met Mom and my brothers. ( dad was asleep ) Mom reprimanded me when she found out * sent me home, so she invited him over to eat. I can tell mom adores *, I hope people will see how lovely he is through my eyes. (:

2005-07-24T21:45:00.000+08:00

I AM GOING FAT, SO FAT THAT MY UNIFORM'S GONNA BURST. KILL ME IF YOU EVER SEE ME JUNKING. I NEED A BREAK FROM GOOD MAKAN.

I'd give up blogging at friendster. The server's laggy and constantly under maintanence.

2005-07-08T23:08:00.000+08:00

PHEW! over, common tests are over! I shall bid my books goodbye and cast 'em aside. Splendid birthday to Sinsing and Samuel Ho as its their 18th / 17th birthday. WHOOPIE-DOO! Timing couldn't be more perfect since our last paper's today. We had our share of fun with the videocam, snapping neoprints, decorating neoprints over and over again. Then a lousy rated movie we caught, "The werewolf hunt" based on a true story. Xiulin wanted a horror flick but we got gorry plus sensual. AHHHH!

2005-07-05T21:25:00.000+08:00

COMMON TESTS AGORE! Anatomy was screwed, most of the components i studied so hard for didn't pop up. Then again, the termology killed most of us. Picture memorizing cardiovascular, muscle and skeletal structure. Maxillary, occupital, frontal, temporlis, zygomatic, mandible, aorta, atrium, AV valves. . yader yak yak blah! SCREW ON THAT, terms urgh the agony! Fundamentals was merely essay writing, lenghty but nonsense was what's scribbled on the paper. Nobody studied for the frigging module. HAHs. tml's physcho and socio, studied my guts out since 8am at sch till 4 odd and am still at it. LOL, yes my skin's wrinkled and hagged. i'm overwhelmed with nursing, NO SHIT! if you think nursing's a crap course, think again. it'll splutter your hearts out. =\

2005-07-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

gladys's surprise birthday cake from andrew after training! :D after pool training, BIG SMILES for camera.

2005-06-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

Drained physically and mentally! Fear me, loathe me and kill me for adeline khoo bites and kicks ass during edgy week.
we had fun while it lasted, then again its not picturesque. Often, I'll pry at what others have which I lack. A gauge to see where I stand, what God has given unto me is never enough to satisfy my needs. If only I were like her/him, my role model why be me? Then again, its just a phrase of identity crisis. Pathetic as it sounds, but it sums up how miserable I feel. No I don't take pride wallowing in self-pity. My dragonboat seniors always note "Mental's the key to success. Saying I can't do it is already is a step to failure." Likewise, this statement's been used time after time from me to my juniors BUT as human beings we err, we can't help and feel intangible to the team ; libility.
Asides that, studies are my main concern. Cramped timetable with tonnes of chapters to remember. There's a limit to how much my brain is willing to absorb. URGH. Its times like this I want to wham my head again my pillow and scream into it. Sob my hearts out and pray for strength. NO adeline ain't used to ciriculum in polytechnic, she misses her friends back in shss. Where teachers/students knew her. Council was her family and serving in school made her happy.

2005-06-29T19:16:00.000+08:00

common tests are drawing, leaving me mourning

2005-06-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

Will we pass the test? Is there something in our lives God is asking you to place on the alter of sarcifice. Time over time, we have failed to place our focus on God, instead of doing right we've placed gifts given unto us from our Heavenly Dad above Him. Gifts? What is this gift we speak of? Its talents Mister God given us. Namely, talent in playing musical instruments or exceling in sports... The list just goes on. One day, God will challenge us to give up these gifts we strongly feel passionate about. When the faithful day comes, question yourself. Will YOU give them up? Ask yourself, are you properly focused on God? We constantly need to counter-check if we're still running the race like He want us to. Though the race may seem turbulent, we need to remove the pebbles in our shoes. Fear may overwhelm us, and it may seem God's not near, but fear not for He's pushing us every minute, second.. (:

Thanks be to God
AMEN!

Church sermon was fabulous as usual. Uncle Denise drove a great message across; stated above (drips and draps.) Graduation for NPDB seniors was amusing. So many hilarous moments and kinky games played.

2005-06-24T21:30:00.000+08:00

That sums up my week. HSN05 mates are cheeky souls! Today gwendolyn and samuel were blowing up latex gloves thru a plastic dick used for nursing skills. Sinsing, xiulin and myself were singing in the lab, loudly and pretty much off key happily. Our other ladies were busy having fun with the equipment and distorting everything within out reach. Miss Sabrina was no better, our lecturer was joining in the fun! LOL. The irony, then again common test are in a week and its still summer holidays for us. Training has stepped up and it gets more thrilling each session, I got to know a couple of the seniors. Characters like sexbear ben, jiansen, kok yi, Kevin. Yeaps, note all guys. LOL. fortunate me always have somebody to go home with so journey back to east ain't bad. If francis and gang ain't around, there's always vick-ga-rooo. WHEEEE.

2005-06-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

mom and dad are going out of town, leaving me to stay at my cousin's place for 2 nights. its gonna be pretty messy with all my barang barang around. in addition with training around, MORE THINGS TO CARRY! :(

GONNA GET CRAZY THO.

2005-06-15T19:14:00.000+08:00

You people ought to check out Dateable: are you? are they?
It gives you the insides on how dating should be, or at least pointers to note whilst seeing somebody. After dating several guys, we usually come to realise "it will not last." It writes about the insides of both female and male. The way they think and react to various situations. Guys use emotion to get the physical, while girls use physical to get emotion.

Girls create a fairy tale in their minds. As soon as you start liking a guy, you have the wedding, the honeymoon, the house were you'll live together, and names with his last name over and over. You've just met the guy or just started crushing on him, and you've created this idea of how it's going to be. Now you have to lie to yourself of seeing things as they really are so you can keep the dream alive. You see the way he looks and the way he acts. He is strong and powerful with a passionate side. He is a total romance detailed list of "must-haves" and "won't-tolerates." With every crush, every movie, every magazine, your list grows longer and more detailed. You do as you are taught in the "how to fnid romance" articles and the "I'll wait for you" books, and you fantasize about how perfect your man is going to be. Doesn't it sound familiar, ladies?

note: Guys will lie to You to get what they want
Thus it came the day I kissed dating goodbye.

2005-06-13T20:07:00.000+08:00

Grandma's NINETY-FIVE
She's not as agile as she used to be
No more home-cooked dishes, household chores and washing for her
Its funny how age catches up with you, just at the blink of an eye
The struggles she's going thru pains me
She cannot help herself out of bed
Let alone bathe by herself
NO, grandma isn't struck with some terminal disease like my grandpops (cancer)
But her condition is getting worse, its a matter of time before...
It seems time is running out for her
I don't want to lose her, not now not ever!
WHY? Can't we live for hundreds, thousands and millions of years
Don't tell me she's going to be in a better place, because I know she isn't
Grandma doesn't want to accept God into her life and we can't force her

God's going to take my grandma away from me
Just a matter of time. . . =(

2005-06-11T19:00:00.000+08:00

dragonboat festival. An invitation from Temasek Poly to Ngee Ann Poly plus various schools. Our DB seniors trained from 10am to 12pm at Kallang before the event. We went there as a polite gesture, since it was on invite. Our boys did us proud by clinching 1st but our girls came in last. Then again, win or lose Ngee Ann Dragonboaters did us proud! This race doesn't determine our fate for the upcoming july competition. Oliver's right "Failure, no doubt may be a fall BUT at least we're falling forward, learning something new each day." Or at least something like that! Seeing the joys and tears from this event makes me even more determined to strive hard for Ngee Ann DB. Mark my words.

Vick's sick. =\

2005-06-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

OKAY! i wasn't too gamed for Nursing Skills. The whole idea of bedmaking revision wasn't what i had in mind, moreover when we were tested on it. The nerve-wrecking emo was when I had to envelop the bedsheets/figure out head and bottom/making an occupied bed. call me spoilt, but its a chore to me. NO, getting a diploma in nursing isn't a bed of roses. Sabrina Koh (lecturer) sensed i was cheesed off with the whole hands-on activity, and so she questioned me about my course choice. i told her honestly that my interest was towards Early Childhood Education. she had to go on blabbering about switching course, which pissed me off even more. i know she has my interests at heart, but if only she could just quit blabbering. I DO NOT APPRECIATE anybody to poke their nose into my business, i'm fully aware of my decisions. PRONTO. my main worry is upcoming common tests and the last thing i need would be anyone to indirectly tell me to give up.

What's up with everybody being edgy of late? =\

2005-06-08T22:31:00.000+08:00

adeline wasn't feeling well in the morning, which got daddy dissed as she skipped lessons. it was only around 10am when she dragged herself out of her cosy bed. she headed down to vick's place, because she can't make it in time for CHAI's lesson. FON lecture was dready!

dragonboat's session was a fitness test. we had to complete pullups, situps and 2.4km. its a monthly record to see how much we'll improve in time to come. if not for joanne i doubt i'd be able to push myself. THANKEW WOMAN!

Pull Up : 24
Sit Ups : 37
2.4 Km : 12min 11sec

saturday's the race at Bedok reservoir between tertiary schools. JIAYOU ngee ann.

2005-06-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

meet mr aaron choy, my funkay lecture mate! lectures are less dull now. HYPED!

2005-06-06T21:37:00.000+08:00

"I used to get lost in your eyes, and it seems I can't live a day without you. Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away, to a place where I'm blinded by the light but, it is not right. Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew. You were the one that I love, the one thing I tried to hold on to. It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and want what's mine. I want you but I am not giving in this time."

Reading my archives, made me think.
Gawd, I do and still do think of you. =\

2005-06-05T19:38:00.000+08:00

nothing beats, worship.
I sing for you, Lord. A hymm of love
Kenneth played for junior service. Proud of you, fella!
I caught up a little with Mengkit and company. Praise God!
AWESOME knowing Eugene's part of ngee ann too - Electrical engineering
bladding with my 2 amigos, boy was it reasonable!
6 bucks for 2 hours. picture that? it was some ride wasn't it fellas?

dragonboat on sat was an experience. wasn't as demanding as i thought it would be, then again we're fortunate to have caring seniors watching our welfare. (:

2005-06-04T08:52:00.000+08:00

Embracing the moment

None of us like pain, uncertainty, strife, or frustration. We want things to run smoothly. But the challenging and miserable times are not without their aspect of good. Things happen to us during those times that are precious as diamonds. For it is then we have the opportunity to experience the Lord's presence in a deeper way. If we embrace the moment, we see Him in it.
We would never dream of hiking up a treacherous mountain path in the dark, with deep cliffs on one side that drop straight down for hundreds of feet and dangerous scorpions, snakes, wild animals, patches of quicksand on the other. Why then would we even consider going through life that way?
Walking through each day without a clear guide, an accurate map, and a consistent light source is hazadous to our well-being. Fortunately, God's Word provides us with the tools and help that we need.

OKAY, I digust myself. Look bad english! What's written here or said there? URGHs, the horror and agony. Adeline's a complete disgrace. PICK UP A BOOK! ANY BOOK. Read those cheesy, love novels you adore, girl. Read, cry and cry all over again before you conversing like them.

DWAGON BOAT and REVISION later.
Hear me roar. RAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Mark my words, I'd wham bam slam.
And prove you wrong, Alvin. *scrowls*

2005-06-02T22:53:00.000+08:00

frustrations and more disappointments

Its me. I'm flawed, I'm weak. Keeping up with lectures is hard enough but I am more or less settling down. Its peer pressure, everyone's kiasu. One have all must have theory. Dragonboat's a beautiful CCA. Solid team spirit and happy as I am. I'd stay. Campus run's enjoyable but weights are ISSUES. weak as I am, I feel inferior to the seniors there. DANG!

"I will do so, God being my helper."
GO ADELINE, GO GO GO!

2005-05-30T18:52:00.000+08:00

monday blues

Maybe its just me but I don't feel okay. Everything's moving so quickly! Be it God, church, poly lectures, friends. There's no time to just freeze time, sit down and take a good look around. Something's missing and Mister God, Adeline Khoo needs you PRONTO!
Lectures bore me! Bio and me just don't connect. Nursing's uber exciting, its now my passion, an art. Then again, I'm at the brink of losing my sanity when I flip my Anatomy notes. Thank God for wonderful classmates. Cass, Joyce, Jannah, Samuel and myself headed for Holland V for lunch. They surprised me with this miniture birthday cake.
HOORAYs, tuesday's coming and its training tomorrow. Alvin asked me to try for track on friday. Should I just go and see?

2005-05-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

" Better fasten that seat belt, because you're due for quite the ride. The stars are bringing along someone powerful, exciting and oh so romantic. Ready or not, here comes infatuation. " - friendster amuses me.

OPPSIE-DAISY! I overslept and skipped church, it was mom's idea of rest since everybody but Justin is down with flu. Mad rush, I tell you headed down to Parkway to get Chevy's mom a present. Weifeng passed me this gorgeous 'Nurse' mug! Our expenses were mainly paid by Chevy since he's feeling rich today. We bladded and it was no joke, blading from one end of east coast to the other. Up and down, down and up those slopes! Actually, it was frightening to see my 2 amigos getting injured. DRAMA-RAMA! TENSION! Glad that's over. But it was an awesome belated birthday celebration. Thank you! (:

YAYs, sean and I are finally meeting up for lunch, i think?
Movies with my nursing girlfriends, i think?
HMMM. town town town town.

2005-05-29T00:52:00.000+08:00

28th May'05

Received tonnes of birthday wishes from friends, it made me PSYCHED knowing people care. That's all that matters. Its amazing, really! God has blessed me. From secondary sch to poly to church and even long-lost friends who bid me.

This year is ultra special. I got to celebrate with close mates at Amara hotel's stayover. Hotplate with relatives and family. Out with LSCT mojo mates at swens. Met up SU FOC camp people and upcoming wednesday with Spartans. An outing with cell group uber soon to make up my belated birthday.

Swens was FUN-tastic. we ate and chatted, squeezed to take neoprints all 15 of us. (not successful, but we tried) We headed to the arcade where Yichao and Ashton danced para for me. Picture two muscular fellas dancing, yeaps what a sight. Its touching when May passed me my present and the guys got me candles. (weird but yea) I met up SU people later, where we had a cuppa at Macs.

OH YESH, training's on tuesday 530pm @ sports gallery. HOORAYs, i've got company. Helmi, Hongkai and Denise. I AM READY, i think? (:

2005-05-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER !!!

I adore my classmates, all 15 of them. In fact, it has been WHACKED especially during LAB sessions. We played with the mannequins, made the latter do funky gestures and even took photographs with them. One thing's for sure, i detest lectures! They bore me like crazy and somehow, its competitive knowing mypeers are vying for front row seats. AH YES, pressure pressure pressure.

I've made plans with the my classmates to go for movies on monday! HYPED HYPED HYPED. Tuesday's reserved for study sessions organised by Sin Sing! HOORAYs, nursing's been a blast! its an art.

Finally, we got to order our Spartan's photographs! It was pleasant seeing Robert, he looks so much lively now. We played lame-crap games too, those which will just make you go HAIYAH! I got advanced birthday wishes from the fellas too, so touching! My classmates sung birthday song for me. OKAY, i am simply gay. WOOT!

2005-05-25T22:42:00.000+08:00

campus life @ ngee ann?

lectures are tough to find
when you're new in campus
i get frantic when it comes to blocks
so many figures makes one go dizzy
my first day was awful
things are better today
at least i think, it is.

loads of insecurity in sch tho
unfamiliar ground and new faces
time table's jam-packed and CCAs have yet to start
either way i'm lost in ngee ann
then again, thank gawd for Yen and the old/new-found friends i've made

2005-05-23T22:54:00.000+08:00

birthdays and more birthdays!

FUNN-tastic. company sure is awesome when its around people I love. that's all that matters, really. we dined at billy bombers, watched the big screen at CHJIMES, bunked in the hotel around 1am. abi and bh came later to join the rest of us. the following day, kelvin came. we went to maxwell for breakfast then sentosa to meet my poly mates. those people grabbed me and flung me into the sea! hahas, their kind of fun was raunchy to my liking, girl sit on guy's shoulder, dares after dares but the cheering was good. we rollerbladed much later. then went back to play card games till wee hours of the morning. its the best time ever.

thank God for my classmates, being my moral support. If not for them, life wouldn't be 'da bomb'. Especially last night's case.

my relatives came over to celebrate my birthday this evening too. I have presents after presents. Though its been drama rama for year 2005, but its part of God's plan and I'm glad everything which took place happened. It made me realise the importance of moral support, friendship, family.. around me. 4 more days to exciting 18. its schooling tml!

2005-05-21T01:58:00.000+08:00

THE IRONY OKAY. have a piece of my mind.
DIG IN. i am unsatisfied with the treatment, i'm getting. gawd, mind me for being crude but i dislike not getting replies. basic courtesy and its not a direct hit at anybody. OH yes, one more thing. smsing bores me!

just sit down and take a breather for a moment.
WHY can't we all just sit down chill and be done with this issue
I HATE BROKEN RELATIONSHIPs that turn DEAD
What's wrong with You? What's wrong with Me? YOU LIED, that's what.

"We'll keep in touch."
HAHs, what a gag. OH YES.

here's another issue.
DAMN her, I am not into her boyfriend
Seriously, she needs some brainwash. Possessive!
Melissa acts like a know-it-all, either way its a MEGA turn-off.

URGHs
okay, i am happy once more. -PHEWs-
off my chest and off my mind. SCREW THE STINKY PEOPLE.
ungrateful beings that roam the Earth, buzz off and get AWAY!

2005-05-19T00:19:00.000+08:00

strangers to friends

WE are from Life Science, famous in NP
Come from a very special family. HEY!
Fight for glory, fight for victory, fight for a spirit never seen before
Life science, life science all the way. We like it here, we like it here
ITS OUR HOME, OUR HOME, OUR HOME SWEET HOME

LSCT camp's a double WOW; spicing up my life. Either way, may's a fufilling month. Numerous of friendships fostered over 3 days. Mojo's the group, I was assigned too guided by Lynn, Ben, Jason, Joanna and Ashton; group leaders (GL). We rolled in mud, ate raw veges, conquored the milky way, big breakfast, nightwalk and ketup paradise. From a meek team we rose and cliched title of NUMBER 1 - a transformation beyond recognition. All good things have to come to an end, and once we broke camp, everyone teared. Thank God, we'll be meeting up uber soon.

SHOUTOUTs
yichao> i can't smile without you. CAMP roxor knowing you were around esp when you dirted me, scrubbing mud on my hair, vandalising on me, pats on head when i needed most.

hongkai> you made me realise being 154's special. LOL

may> tagging with me thru camp

yongqiang> accompanying me thru freaky nightwalk

ashton> your lame tongue stick outs against me. YAYs, my CCA mate-to-be.

2005-05-16T06:37:00.000+08:00

GOOD MORNING, its monday and I'm having monday-natal blues. It keeps kicking in and I feel edgy, exhausted, excited but yet miserable. busy busy busy, if you ask me. All I ask for is time so lay back and relax, to pause and take a breather. You see, adeline's worn out already and it ain't a plesant sight. I need you, Lord to fill me up!

LSCT camp today and I ain't HYPED, just yet. *SIGHS* bummer.

2005-05-15T18:57:00.000+08:00

temple by the sea @ bali.

Day 1
Bali was filled with Eurasians. Fat one, skinny one, tall one, short one.. you name it I've seen it all. We were led by Weera - our tour guide. Nothing much done though, just settling down at the Hotel. By nightfall, my family were out on the streets just roaming till we got to Centro - 3 months old mall.

Day 2
Weera brought us to several batik shops and stalls to view the craftsmen work. Kenneth bought a set of traditional drums while Justin got his Chess set. Pretty unique I must say, if you ever drop by my place. Just ask for a game or two and my brother would be more than willing to take you on. As for my parents, they bought scented incense. I got a pair of giraffes. Did i mention my love for them? I adore them!

Day 3
At least 400 bucks was spent on Sea sports. Para-sailing, banana boat, jet sking .. snorkling. Talking about snorkling, the coral reefs were awesome. My family got the opportunity to feed the fishes too and its quite an experience. Kenneth got his tatoo and I got my hair braided. Evening was on our own, and my parents got me a bikini set. =]

Day 4
slack slack slack. pack pack pack. take off, fly and here I am - home. We took a london taxi which was rather neat.

END.
tml i'll be @ camp. (:

2005-05-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

OH DANG!
the negative energy is kicking in. (:
to see or not to see? THAT's THE BLEAH.
whether i care or not bother. IS AN ISSUE! ~!@#$%^&*

. peace up A down!

Lunch with the boys was pleasant. Hopefully I'd be able to upload the photograph real soon. Yaomin and Eric's burnt out rushing the proposal for work. Robert's all HYPED, crashing argives' outing in town. I'd be missing out on tomorrow's convention day and Spartan's outing. Kelvin's booking out of camp tomorrow. HOORAYs, then again I'll be out of town. So BOO to that, either way it'll be a good getaway for just an Adeline weekend.

I visited workplace. Lisa ain't around, so I'd pop by next week after LSCT camp. Had dinner with my lovely, lovely boys and its exciting hearing how's life going on for them. I could just rant on forever about camp and them on work. With my agenda ever-changing, it scares me but at least I know somethings will always stay the same. Thank you for making my life whole again. (you know who you are) (:

2005-05-09T11:16:00.000+08:00

I am still awed by FOC Camp.

on sunday, i managed to catch up with russ and jon for 'Kingdom of Heaven.' i don't like the bloodshed, so you get the picture. movie rates have increased by the dollar, got to be selective. i intend to catch Monster-in-Law, Charlie and the Choco Fac. DANG, i got to catch up with amy, sivam and weifeng too. either way, its an uber happy day.

francis's at sports camp, while amy and karthi's at tp camp. gawd, i wish i can go camp too. i would love to go sports, then again i'd be out of town. honestly, i've got to settle down, snap back to reality but i can't compose myself. hais.

i wonder what's kelvin doing at camp, gonna miss that bud of mine. hopefully kai will clear the air with mel for me. i wonder what's jawn doing now. vick where are you too? hahas. blogging makes me sleepy. (:

2005-05-06T18:45:00.000+08:00

FOC CAMP, I like. Yums!

Spartan Rocks. Pam, Si yuan and Phyoe made awesome GLs. tonnes of corny, horny and power-packed cheers. camp was crazy, it was about 500 odd and picture us sleeping in the sports hall. there were muddy games, water games and lame games too. either way its creative and I LIKE! so many to describe, really.

but i would like to thank God for camp, i made tonnes of new friends. he made me fit in somehow and blessed me with friends like pam, siyuan, phyoe, kelvin, ronald, miaoxin, grace, kai, adi, ervia and many more. we did skit and boy was it embarressing. i am now known as chao ah lian to FOC campers. hmm, oh the camp committee did a fabulous job on the clubbing night. boy did we shake our booty and i had bad experience with 5 guys who surrounded me and we all did raunchy dancing. kelvin tried to save me but in vain, one of the guys grabbed me to dance to the tune "im horny" it was HIGH on the dance floor, one fella had fits so we ended at 3am. we spent our time just slacking, it was ton ton ton for all of us. sleepers beware because you'll find yourself vandalized. HAH. i got it too. it was embarressing will share if you ask. naughty phyoe! we had mass dance, kel and i made a good team. WE ROCKED. i love camp dances and cheers. (though height was an issue) (:

closing of camp was sad, several GLs cried. 4 days with each other seemed like eternity. dang, the guys were HOT at camp. sizzling HOT i tell you. (:

2005-05-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

times like this
"The most satisfying thing in life is to have been able to give a large part of one's self to another."

In the house of the great king, we've come together now to worship Him. That's how awesome is our God, who cannot be shaken.

I adore service and having lunch with cousins. Met up with denise later to purchase camp equipment. Jon and Russ joined us later for XXX. Sounds erotic but I assure you it ain't. Instead its a fabulous action-pack drama thing, more kick ass than romance. A refreshing change to my picks in flicks. We spent our time hunting for ziplock bags. Uber corny time spent, I never laughed so hard before. Bumped into Kenny, JJ and Gillian though and caught up a fair bit with them. So many embarressing moments tho, like in the toliet and cinema.

denise> you ayam bapok barbie swine sow gila tingtong. (:

2005-04-29T22:56:00.000+08:00

YOU AMAZE ME!

Jawn found me on wholivesnearyou.com. He's an inspiring eighteen year old God-loving franatic. Sets me thinking about our big guy above. How many questions it took for him to thirst for God? Here's the answer. TWO which made him yearn for God more. Here's the big question mark, WHAT?

<>First, name the 10 commandements.
answers: ??
<>Second, list down names of all alcoholic drinks (which you know)
answers: ??

Most of us, would prolly know more brand names of beer compared to the 10 commandements without reference to the bible, right? He amazes me, and made me question about my belief in Christ.

OH YAH! i learnt what's freerunning about. Its Jawn's hobby. He proclaims its the art of landing beautiful. I call it daredevil maneuvers. Freerunning, not exactly the HOTTEST sport in Singapore. Its new, just 3 years old. Here's the skinny on freerunning

Kenneth spoke funny to me last night. Still can't figure out why its so sudden, but I appreciate him for honesty. He's nice, uber friendly but I don't get him. Its not that I don't want to believe but its hard to, after so long. No signs, no hints but just WHAM-BAM! Concrete evidence? zil. a girl can feel it when a guy means it. I just can't, sorry.

Why can't girls and guys be just best friends and nothing more. Me messaging you doesn't mean I'm interested, why can't they figure that bit out?

2005-04-28T22:03:00.000+08:00

stumped
standing at the end of something, the needful and rightful thing to do is to look up and above, look to the future. but the years of wrangling with my past have trained my eyes and locked them permanently on what i have left behind, things i have lost, gained and lost again, things that could have been, things that were then they weren't again.

but did i ever really have a choice? maybe in another time, in another place, things would be so much different.

to look life in the face, always, to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is. at last to know it- to love it, for what it is, and then, to put it away.. always the years between us, always the years, always the love, always- the hours..

2005-04-28T00:10:00.000+08:00

letter

Adeline,
Your father says poly life is demanding. The challenge is how to manage your time. I heard on radio yesterday. There was a survey which shows that excessive e-mail \ smses results in dumping down. (i.e. lowering of IQ) Remember you are now embarking for a career towards life-long employment.
love,
mom & dad

2005-04-26T23:38:00.000+08:00

i've finally found the URL to photographs taken back in secondary school. hopefully, i'd have time to post them up soon.

came back from work not too long ago. working at NUH is wearing me out physically and mentally. my vision's blur and its high time i rely on spectacles.

i am tired of pacing up and down, delivering diet cards. the cards came so often and by the time i reach back office to chill. somehow diana or robert would stroll pass and give me more work. call it a blessing or a curse, given the fact that they enjoy making their every penny's worth paying me. so my collegues adviced me..

<>never make eye contact with them (it only gives you an opp to work more)
<>pretend to throw rubbish
<>type in front of the screen
<>fake answer calls or receiving fax

after they tipped off with 'words of advice' diana walked pas. unable to think fast, i immediately when to the corner and bend down. my motive was to pretend picking up litter, but it turned out i've got my hands over my head and i squatted behind the recycling box. thinking that my troubles were over, i looked up to see if diana walked away. only to my horror she was looking from the window screen peering down, wondering what i was doing. she walked away only to come back 5 minutes later, to question my weird action. my collegues burst into laughter, at my lousy attempt to act busy. :(

2005-04-26T08:43:00.000+08:00

Remember the article people passed around on friends? The one that said that in kindergarten, your idea of a best friend was the one who let you have the red crayon while he/she was left with the ugly black one, and it was okay?

I think back to my secondary school days. My final year was an absolute blast, we had classmates who accepted one another no matter what. We never really excelled in any of the sports events, and our practice for cheer comp wasn't all smooth-sailing(haha : vipul's conflict with me. getting the guys to groove and rounding up hy and company up for practice) but we were buddies and we knew it. Not forgetting council, where we had to prepare last minute agendas for events. (haha: many boohoos behind the scenes) but we made it happen. It's 2005, and sometimes we call others up and chat, meet up, hang out. We've even got a couple! Acceptance of one another, good clean fun and times of just being with them.

Somehow all is dim in the world i exist in, especially since matters got drastic over personal issues. People often size you up and determine who you are even before you get a chance to speak. That feeling of people assuming they know who you are because of certain distinguishing characteristics is purely lame. I don't know why i'm complaining now, when its been an issue of yester years. Perhaps it's just that over this period, i've felt extremely excluded from people around me. It doesn't bug me or anything, i think i'm getting used to it. But i start to miss what i had.

I miss mingkai. He was one of those rare gems who stuck by me through getting by O levels and accepted me for me.

I miss denise. i think she's at the airport now; working.

I miss butterfly cell; consisting grace,cindy,gloria,cassandra. Back then we had uber fun. though bible studies were rare and few. it was the little things, "how was your week?" and snail-mails that made me bright and gay.

I miss Radiomp3 friends. la-kopi/pool sessions, we did nothing extraordinary or wow but it was the simple get-togethers that made it extraordinary.

But somehow in the whole mess, i live in. I found acceptance from them (you know who you are) Thank you! (:

"There is a little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative."

2005-04-25T20:20:00.000+08:00

To once a special someone :
<>And the both of us, so I saw,
Are now passer-s by, nothing more.

<>With a muddled mind and an empty heart,
Realize there's no solace to be found,
From people who give not but all want a part.

<>And the both of us, so I saw,
Were just like these, and nothing more.

<>For you my dear, my feelings kept bay.
About your love, there was nothing - dry.

<>And so I say, oh I shall try, knowing full well I do not lie,
It's fine but please oh, don't make me cry.

2005-04-24T15:13:00.000+08:00

its been a helluva week

first: you guys have to see this

you know how friendship works rite?
or any relationship for that matter.

when 2 people experience the same thing, a bond is formed.
like how i grew closer to my classmates whilst working
or how robert and i shared some form of understanding after talking
or how sam and i found companionship while he was here
or how for a while denise was my closest friend

some only last as long as the experience lasts.
e.g. most of my secondary school friends
some last a long long time
like my group of senior friends, whom i'm meeting again after the 14th

but mostly, friendships work out because you and your friend share something. common direction, common experience, something like that.
the closest friends are those that share the same values as you do.
the things that are closest to your heart, they'd prolly have to share the same views as you do.

--------------------------->
--------------------------->

something like this rite?

so what happens then when you desperately want someone close to you to move in the same direction as you,
and at the same time you know you have to be prepared when it doesnt happen the way you want it?

what if it looks like this?

<------------------------------ o ------------------------------->

what then? i'm crossing my fingers and toes and hoping the elasticity of this friendship band will not snap.

heartache.

2005-04-23T00:46:00.000+08:00

One day, I'll stand by the aisle of my home church and smile saying to Him..

"Look's like we've made it. They said I bet they'll never make it but just look at us going on. We're still together, still going strong. You're still the one I'd run to, only one I belong to. The only one I want and, love. So glad we've made it, look how far we've come by, dear."

like how mom did, growing old with dad.

It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. Ever felt that before? I am remorsing. "Let it be the answer, let it be" said my friend. My cure - retail therapy. Perfect timing when paycheck's coming.

2005-04-22T16:17:00.000+08:00

romeo, romeo, where art thou romeo?

2005-04-21T20:22:00.000+08:00

fellow classmates,
i've placed reservations for armara hotel on 21st to 23rd may. it'll be a reunion for us since we've been busy with school, work, personal committments. a FUN-tastic opportunity to chill before school term commends. please spread the word around our clique of friends. get back to me on who's coming and staying over. for parties whom previously stayed, its the same; connecting suite.

P.S: get back to me soon ASAP. (:

HAHs. next friday's my last day of work at NUH (i presume) have yet to gasp the opportunity to tell diana about leaving. nothing much to pen down about work, other than its a political environment. need a break for work, prepare for FOC camp followed by working at NUS PGP and LSCT camp. which reminds me, i might be sleeping over at Yiqiang's place before camp. have to contact hazel, yen and jocyeln to meet up for camp.

oh ya, i've made appointments with jon and russ to meet up. jon wants me to donate blood with him. our first meet-up after so long and its for blood donation drive, peculiar though but meaningful.

either way, may's fully booked. i am glad its a rush-rush month for me. that way i have things on my hand to do. mom and dad won't be celebrating my birthday with me, they are going for some friend's wedding. so they gave me the hotel stay to spend time with friends.

i miss teenstime, especially cellgroup. i enjoyed learning sessions through cell leaders, so insightful. i wonder how's everyone getting along? i do think of my classmates, every now and then but its different now. our group's divided, then again its inevitable; separate polys and schedules. GOODNESS. (:

* people do tag me, is there something wrong with my chatterbox? attempt it several times. its working over at my side.

2005-04-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

HAPPY WEDNESDAY.
hide-and-seek uncle's a smoke-pot!
he lives up to his reputation of hiding in toliets; skiving.

the new uncle's still adapting.
slow-pok. where you place him, he'll work leisurely and slowly.

i like liza, my mentor at CR
she guides me and tests me alot. with her around i'm learning (:

diana's feeding us.
EAT EAT EAT

robert quek's motto "i'm loving it"
yeaps, so love to kick his ass
its always do this do that. A for effort, F for result.

2005-04-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

mentally exhausted and physically drained. :(

Prayer List
. horrible flu bug, STOP disturbing dad
. to get off day soon with comrades
. yes to bursary? no to bursary?
. adeline, more time for God. PLEASE?
. byebye troubled blues
. blessed through chevy, weifeng
. thankyou for jon

2005-04-18T18:55:00.000+08:00

God's full of surprises, he blesses you when you least expect it. That's how Hazel Lim came into the picture. Bumped into her at Ngee Ann, she's in the same school (LSCT) as me pursuing Biomedical Science. We're the only two Hildans in that school and our building is situated behind Singapore Institute Management (SIM). Induction Day ain't that nerve-wrecking afterall. I got to know Qixian, Jocelim, Mindy, Yen, Alex, Mali, Zhihao, Melissa, Elaine, Fathiyah, Hidayah. Not all are exactly doing nursing, just the two malay girls, Melissa, Elaine and Yen are. Not so bad for a first day right? Either way, wouldn't have gotten to know them if not for Hazel too. For starters, the GLs presented slideshows for Freshman Orientation Camp ; 16 to 18 may. Followed by talks after talks, ice-breakers then its all over. However, i was held back for nursing talks from SingHealth and National Healthcare Group. (:

Friends are scattered all over, knowing that my School of Life Science's far away from School of Engineering makes me sad. No wonder they said its hard to bump into each other around campus. That makes no-meet ups for lunch with my other mates. Booey. Hms.. Didn't see Sam Yew off today, he'll be at University in Aussie for attachment. Everyone has their mind set on other CCAs, whilst i'm so bent on Dragonboat. They don't want to join me because "arms will grow bigger." So frustrating though..

sean finally got into film. hoorays another mate at ngee ann. gonna pyscho him to join FOC Camp and similar CCA if not similar sports and wellness module would do.

denise cracked her knee or something like that. she's unwalkable. poor girl, then again its a blessing in disguise so that she can snooze at home and just bum. she might not be accompanying me to FOC Camp in time. grrs, its tragic. why do all the bad things happen to nice people?

vick's still out of reach. called his house and his tamil speaking maid answered. she didn't say anything much on the phone other than "ahh uhh. ahh ahh." didn't make much sense to me. it amazes me how his mom can converse in mandarin and she in tamil. some sort of telepathy. i wish i had that kind of powers because either way it dissed me off when i can't get a simple yes or no reply. vickneshwaren, its been four bloody days and no word. what's the news? gawd, i hate it when i dont know anything about that fella's life and he knows everything of mine.

BOO-EY! life's a mess. its messy out there. big big cosmo out to wallop me into an abyss. what would life be if i was given a chance to change a decision i've made? hmmm. nay, wouldn't want to change anything. what's wrong with now? period.

2005-04-17T22:56:00.000+08:00

misunderstood

diana: why is adeline reading? if i see her reading again, she won't get paid. allocate some work, don't just keep them to yourselves.

(silence in room)

door slams, diana walked off in a huff
minutes later...

diana: adeline have you eaten?

me: not hungry

diana: what are you all doing? let her eat, give her a break. treat her like family.
me: uh.

diana leaves room

everyone: no one understands her really. adeline next time she walks pass, you purposely eat. you better munch later diana thinks we ill-treat you again.

what a gag, really diana's hard a person to read. she startled me so badly, when it came to dinner she's so nice. in fact, she told us in the meeting room that she was looking out of me. goodness, did i hear correctly? more like out to humiliate me. then again, her intentions are good. just too tactless. didn't felt that way, aside from that, she's pleasant always leaving the best for 3 of us.

LIFE AND DEATH IN SHANGHAI, this book i've just started. its a novel, yes i dig novels. which reminds me of P.S - I Love You. its still with Lydia. gawd damnit, I might purchase Where Rainbows End. Read it already but i love the storyline so much. true love never fails. nay, its crap its only a tale ain't reality.

I need a reality check sometime soon. hmmms, Orientation's tomorrow. i can envision it now, adeline the nurse. adeline the lonely nurse.

2005-04-16T23:05:00.000+08:00
cheerios

Everything is so perfect. EVERYTHING!

I got the break from work which I so wanted. It sorta gave me ample time to sit back and unwind, laze around like an old cow. Time passes by so quickly, just like that snap, your life goes you by like a choo-choo train. Which reminds me, I managed to meet several fellas after so long. Caught "Guess Who" with Sam and his friend, Boonkeat. The show itself, was predictable the way I like it, one with happy endings ; so cliche, moving and romantic. Sam claims its lowly-rated, and blames me for the horrible recommendation. booey, men so fussy! hahs. Boonkeat's bisexual, what a gag but he's friendly, naggy for a guy but nice. Andrew met up with us later, for some chit-chat since he was around the area, gawd haven't seen him for two years and he has changed. There's something about him, more conservative now no longer that extrovert I once knew. Strange though, back then we both never held conversations whilst yesterday we yakked as if we've known each other our entire lives. Sam introduced me to three of his other friends, the clubbing sorta fellas. I am impressed by their fluency of language, not your average singaporean uttering singlish. Then we crashed KTV much later, where we met yaomin. He lost weight, tonnes of weight to think he claims he pigs out at Japan. Its good meeting up with him after so long, we used to gym together with Eric now he's busy working part-time with Eric. Kenneth dropped by much later, rich ass had to get valet parking. We had a couple of drinks on the house. Voka Ribena wasn't exactly nice, a pity they didn't have sex on the beach or cosmopolitian. It would have been so much better, then again it isn't a bar. The touching bit was when yaomin and kenneth helped me hail a cab home, was running late so they looked out for me. Did wish Vick could join us, haven't heard from him in ages. Nowhere to be found either?

Today's talk at Tan Tock Seng, was enlightening. So many options to choose from after nursing. Every company has their own set of progress chart and it amazes me that nursing even has one. First you start off as nurse staff then nurse staff one, two then senior nurse staff and blah blah blah...your rank increases according to performance. (wasn't really paying attention) Then there comes to a junction where you have to choose what type of line you want to go into. For instance, its either clinical, admin or education. Of course, the S/N was selling off Tan Tock Seng as its product. Their main vision was to rope us in and tie us down with a bond of 3 years. We'll get our scholarship and for 1st year students we'll be paid 850bucks monthly through Giro, and the amount increases by 50 bucks each year goes by. It sounds tempting, because at the end of schooling I'll have a secured place in a hospital. I even managed to see a few of my school mates to be in nursing. Though never interacted with them, but I hope they are nice. They look nice but just not friendly. Here's the interesting bit, I hung out with norman lim and jeremy soh today, went to catch Coach Carter. norman insisted on going out, so we did, apparently he smokes which made me feel disappointed in him then again that's not the point I am driving that. What amazes me was back then when he was my classmates, I recalled how much we used to loathe each other, somehow he'll utter crude remarks like " you dog!" and I'll say something nasty too. There's something about him against Hildans then again can't blame him, I understand that feeling too. Its a weird but yet refreshing change hanging out with them. Never did expect to go out, though a little awkward. By the way, Coach Carter is an inspiring show! (:

Visit grandma's much later in the evening, cousins were over there too. Managed to hit the gym together with Kenneth and Yiqiang. Yiwen and Yiling were busy watching telly and the two little ones were out so didn't really catch up with them. Aunty Poh Hian was asking if I intend to move over their place, making it more convient for me when term starts in May. Yiqiang's extremely excited over the issue and it makes me happy too, more time with my cousins too. I enjoy their company, as compared to the paternal side. Dad's nieces and nephews are just too grown-up, all settled down happily married, making babies. So I might be moving over, its just a matter of time. Apparently, we've already made plans to do so in the past, that's why we bought Hillview Green and my cousins Summerhill ; opposite each other. However, things turn out likewise which held us back. So Hillview's currently on rent.

Those thoughts just kept following back. Its total bullshit when its nightmares I get for some apparent reason, several days in a row and its tramatizing each morning I wake up having to snap myself back into reality. Bizarre really, I should not harbour thought, must be my subconscious mind twirling with me. Either way, its off limits. Must be the caffine getting to me. There's one where I was sold for prositution, mom gave me away for some reason. (more to that but i forgot) Another was me getting into an fatal crash and I died. I saw whathisnameis in my dream too, it seemed pleasant, comforting me after some life and death event, eventually I found out it was a coy and I got doped, the fella found himself a new chump. Either way, cuppa bull.

I got an allergy outbreak. Same classic case of pimple cream, just that its of a different brand. Skin's burning and not pleasant though. Yes, saddists gloat at my misery, laugh your ass off. Aside that, everything just going fine. Then again, I've got to work tomorrow at 10 00 hours. I'll be doing 12 hours shift and only getting paid 8 hours. The rest's outta love, will be helping out in the kitchen. Where its gonna get really messy, but it ain't gonna matter because mwa lovely comrades are gonna tear the kitchen down. Did i mention we blast music? HAHs. to think about it, working's nice nice nice. Need a wake up call. BOOEY! (:

2005-04-15T15:58:00.000+08:00

Random Thoughts
You know, the funny thing is, I’ve never done anything like that before. Ever. I’m not all that difficult to please, and the thing is I DO want and try to be the perfect girl. Maybe it’s innate in all women. Some biblical thing. Eve was never made to be subversive. I just wish he’d make me want to do all the things I want to. People usually need to do stuff for other people first, before they’d want to return the favour. I don’t think that’s all that uncommon, maybe he feels like that too. That’s why things might never work out.

My girlfriend says I shouldn’t bother anymore. And I think yeah, maybe I shouldn’t. It’s been a short, subdued ride, and I probably won’t miss it. I don’t know. Whatever. If he never calls me again, so be it.

2005-04-13T11:37:00.000+08:00
i hate the dentist, he scrapped my gum and it hurts. naturally, i would fidget due to pain but somehow men like him thinks its just nothing and he raised his voice while at it. can't blame me for moving, picture somebody whacking you, you won't just stand still after it bathon has stuck you, you fidget. when a doctor uses the stick to knock against your knee, your reaction - it moves. you can't explain or control such gestures, it just happens. why can't he understand that? for crying out loud, he is a grown man with a university degree.

then again, what do they teach you in schools now adays?

goodness, insensitive twits like him ruin the name of denistry. its nincomputs like bald headed Dr-whatever-his-name that brings a rotten image of men in society. he is a living testimony of why children loathes denists. i had tormenting childhood memories of visiting dentist back in school and he only adds up to that rotten experiences. why why why? URGHs, i am sooooo uber dissed and he still expects me to reply him after that tramatizing experience. scew it really, no sorries? talk about pride here. that explains why very few patronize him for his service. may he reap what he sows, like getting bad customer service or something. then it'll reflect upon his actions and finally realise he was once like that grotesque too. or just lose all his hair or fall flat on his nose. goodness! ah negative thoughts, can't blame me im human too, i err.

men and their bloody egos.
its not me being sterotype here, but its so true.
i think God's only purpose on placing me here is to get inflicted with insensitive twits and put up with their complete nonsense. honestly, what do i get? just pain pain pain. AND NO! i'm not fabricating this, yes i get my blessings once every now and then. i get emo, and cry. people think i'm weak but mark my words. i'd prove you guys so wrong, so wrong.

2005-04-13T01:04:00.000+08:00
i headed down ngee ann with denise today. sort of our pact, i accompany her and she'll do likewise on thurs. i'm happy to have heard her share about her ever-so corny stories from workplace. does seem fun with her comrades - ming and pok. like how i've got mine too. maybe just maybe, it'll build that stronger friendship we once had again. guess who we bumped into today? tan mingkai and francis lim, yeaps they'll be enrolling in aerospace tech just like denise. see, how fortunate they've got each other whilst i've nobody. its stressful, being a freshman and not having familiar faces around you. like starting school all over again and again, just that i'm older. URGHs, im such an oxymoron!

com'on its not like people will snarl and growl at you!

but ...

i loathe starting over, not having people around. i'm person-orientated. my theory no people equals blues. dependency on people, i'll never get far in society. no one man shows for me. perhaps its not where my talent lies, then again what's mine? phobia of losing friends, everyone's scattered. it makes things complicated with internal issues, really i don't know when its over. please make it over soon.

goodness, too many stories heard and its the mambo jumbo that affects. either way hearing it or not hearing them makes me equally disheartened. its not hate that overwhelms me but fear and disappointment. its natural, i know. ain't the one complaining here but just want to be you know less emo about it? at times it seems that i think evil thoughts like doing voodoo or boxing or throwing a tomato. what's bothering me really? ah, that i would like to know. hmms, let's see i want to be less awkward, i want to maintain friendships. nobody wants to hurt another party, right? i don't know where is this getting me too but yeaps.

i signed up for FOC camp wished francis joined too. sports camp is tempting then again, why go for two camps when one is sufficient? i sorta gun off the fella speaking to me, he made it sound like a obligation to go with his "personally, i if i were you" theory. it did dissed me off but then again i suppose, he's just doing his job and me being a good sarmatian was doing mine by telling him frankly, which did hurt his pride in front of his mates, i suppose. they were giving me funny faces for crying out loud, it was my life or camp that kind of scenario. freaky right? i think so too.

checked out the notebooks and its so confusing because they all look the same to me, some were more pricey than others. its either acer or IBM but chances are i think it'll be IBM T43. hmms, oh i met several graduates who spoke to me. apparently they were doing evangalism, just that they seem meek approaching me though. "are you singaporean? you have an accent. not local" lady exclaimed. its a way of getting my attention, i suppose. hahas, hmmm interesting right? but 4 of them were nice. i think ngee ann is insightful. its definitely the right poly for me but then again... haiyo! ):